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It's not the cold making my legs shake.

If you have ever seen how giant my eyes are, you'd know I produce a helluva tear.
I've been on the verge of crying since 6:09 PM EST.
That is literally the exact moment I decided to eat dinner in a restaurant by myself for the first time in my life.
I'm fearless and brave.
Or the loneliest girl to ever eat a salad.

The entire meal I kept fretting that someone was going to inquire about my company-less meal. I was terrified of not only eating alone, but eating alone AND crying in a public venue. ALONE.

I tried to read. Instead I thought of you every second. And watched the waitress mop up a spilled soda.
I wanted to call you.

I thought you'd understand my predicament and provide some insight to my current mental state. I thought you'd be helpful in making a soundtrack for the situation. I thought you'd at least say you wanted to join me even as physically impossible that may be.
But I don't have a phone number for you.
So I just thought.

Tell me I'm only dreaming.

8:50 p.m. - 2013-01-05

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