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Baby baby baby baby

You go through periods of time where you think it's the hardest thing you've ever had to go through. And then time passes, and you go through other periods of time when you think that , no, this is way harder than any other period of time you've ever thought was hard.

We've been trying to get pregnant since March.
And nothing.
Zilch.
Nada.
And every day I look at myself in the mirror and blame myself.
Blame myself for nothing in particular, but for everything all at once.
Like I'm not good enough.

And I see all these unfit mothers having masses of children. And wonder why they have the thing it takes to have a baby.
We've spent years avoiding the baby issue an we are both ready and wanting and I can't fucking have one.

I know it's too early to call it, but it's hard.

3:31 p.m. - 2012-08-22

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