-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

violence

i guess i haven't had a good cry in a couple of weeks. i've tried to be strong. more like, i've tried to numb.
i should have expected that it was going to come sooner or later...
and it came, in waterfalls.

as i was driving home from the grocery, there was a funeral procession going down the highway that leads to my neighborhhod. and all the cars on the other side of the road stopped. put on their flashing lights. and waited until it passed to go on their way.
and i just cried.
i miss my grandparents. i miss my mom. i miss my niece. i miss my hometown. i miss him.
i miss so many fucking things that it makes my stomach hurt. it makes my entire soul hurt.

i would love nothing more than to sit in my grandparents kitchen across from my grandpa, eat my grandmas french toast and laugh. that is happiness to me. nothing more.
i will never have that again.

12:52 p.m. - 2011-04-13

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------