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Don't Piss Me Off.

I am supposed to be stronger than this.

I just dropped him off for his 7th deployment. On the way there, he was getting all philisophical. Talking about how this was just an ordinary day for everyone else, and it was kind of like a beginning and an end for us. Another trip on our long emotional journey.
Hearing him say "an end" made my heart stop. I know he didn't mean it like that....but how many lives does on person get? He has spent over 3 years of his life in that awful place...I shouldn't think that. But it wouldn't be honest of me if I said it didn't clog my fucking mind.
But he's right. Most everyone are living this moment right now like any other day. And here I am, saying goodbye to my mate so he can go save the world.
I always sit there and watch him walk away, because I want every single second I can get with him. And then he is gone. Through the doors.
A little while later he texts me to ask why our goodbyes aren't ever good enough. I didn't have an answer. I just cried. He is right. I always leave thinking I should have kissed him one more time, what if I never get an opportunity to taste it again.

It is not romantic. Trust me.
I am supposed to be stronger than this.

4:29 p.m. - 2011-01-27

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