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Hitting it hard.

My grandmother died today.
My other grandmother.
The one I hardly know.
She was a well known artist.
She made beautiful things.
Now she's drawing heaven.
Even though I barely knew her, I'm sad about it.
Just makes me think how devastated I am still am.
I remember the last thing that ran through my mind at each of their funerals was that this was the last time i would ever see their faces. I probably looked back 1,000 times and it still wasn't enough.
I still fucking wish i would have looked once more.
Still shakes me to the fucking bones.

I have to be up so early for work tomorrow, but if the beach was closer than 3 hours away, any fucking closer, I'd drive there right now to hear the waves crash. And think.
Probably about you.

10:28 p.m. - 2010-09-16

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