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this is no way to begin.

wish i could say tonight,
when you bend and way goodbye,
take me,
with you.

most days i don't feel like i'm strong enough to handle this.
i'm in this zombie-like state, where i'm not even coherent to the fact that i'm alone again.
except when i lay down at night to sleep, and i look over, and don't see the most handsome, bearded man in the world. and it explodes in my chest like a fucking bullet on fire.
it always feels like we should have kissed one more time, like that would have made any kind of difference. like one more time is enough to save you or me. like one more time will keep it burnt on my mouth until you come home.

to say i'm sad is an understatement. i'm sad because i don't want you to have to go through this anymore. i'm sad because i think you deserve more. i put great value on your life, and your safety and to have both walk out on me at the same time is enough to break me into tiny pieces.
i miss your existence.

3:25 p.m. - 2010-03-25

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