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d-fence

this is what i've got running through my brain, my heart, and the dark depths of my very being:

www.caringbridge.com/visit/prayforben
he unfortunately passed away yesterday. and it absolutely breaks my heart.

and my grand-daddy would be 81 today if he was still alive. but he's not going to be 81, ever. he's always going to be 80 and 40 days old, exactly. and it still feels like my mom just called me to tell me that she found him dead. there is still a good amount of sting to it. he was my favorite.

i don't feel like being pretty and poetic. i feel like screaming and stabbing someone's eyeballs out with a fork.
i can't ever get my feet set.
i can't ever get my bearings.
i can't ever move on.
and every time i try to hold in my tears i get the hiccups.

5:13 p.m. - 2009-07-19

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