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love.

it's all found itself into my new perspective.

everything but georgia.

i want to go back and live among the million people. i want to get lost in the city that i know and love. i want to go back and drive with my eyes closed. and not be scared. because it's home.

i fucking hate this place.
it doesn't fit into my perspective.
into my life.
or into me.

as if you didn't know by now, my grandpa, the man that helped my mother and grandmother raise me, the strongest, best friend anyone could ever ask for, the only man in my life that has ever intimidated me, died on august 29th. so unexpectedly. so suddenly. and very alone. he sat in his chair for nearly 24 hours before my mom found him. sitting in my grandmother's recliner, not his. not in his regular chair, but in his favorite person's chair. and he died in his sleep.
and i can't help but think of all the things that i wanted to tell him. like, thank you, for inspiring me, teaching me, and showing me love. and to ask him to tell my grandma that i think about her everyday. and goodbye.
most importantly goodbye.

it just feels like a crack in the planet.

7:54 p.m. - 2008-09-10

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