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this has got to die. this has got to stop.

i met a lady with parkinsons today. i saw how she walked. and it reminded me of my nanny's side shuffle.
i miss those small steps she used to take. i miss supporting her so she could make it from room to room. i miss watching tv with her until she fell asleep at the same time every afternoon.
i dream about her. i dream the most vivid dreams. they don't scare me. i just feel confused in the morning. like something is missing.
i wish my grandma was alive. i wish i could tell her that i wished she was here.
i want chris to be home. life is just not going as i had planned.
and for anyone thats out there...
i don't think i can take much more.

10:09 p.m. - 2008-04-24

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