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cracks in the foundation

i'm so down.
i'm just going through one of those moments.

i found myself sitting in your closet. because it smells like you. the perfect mixture of new car smell, sweat, and deodorant. it could absolutely be the end of my existence in that small space. and i wouldn't mind. i wouldn't notice, because it's like we're sharing some time together again.

it's been two days.
i still have seventy-one to go. and then it's not even guaranteed that you are here to stay.

and not that i wanted to see you cry, but it felt so good to see how bad it hurt you too. sometimes i forget that you are human, but you always remind me in the most perfect times.
you would think that these moments would be romantic. but they aren't. human emotion should never have to be that raw and loud and pure. and it shouldn't stay that raw and loud and pure for seventy-one straight days.

i miss my mom. i really miss my mom. it breaks my heart. and i miss my brother. god, i miss my little brother. i remember taking baths with him. and now he's starting high school. it's just all happening so fast.
i hate fast.

5:14 p.m. - 2008-04-22

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