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we've got it all wrong.

the key to life is being happy.

i followed my heart to make myself happy.
and now you aren't happy.
so i can't be.

i made a mistake.
that doesn't mean that i'm any less devoted to chris. i quit my entire life to move 500 miles away to support him. i moved 500 miles away to sacrifice my own happiness for what he wanted to do.
i just want us to be happy.
but we can't because he can't get over my mistake, and i can't and haven't ever gotten over his.
life is so short.
and so so so delicate.
every time when we get off the phone i can't help but worry that it might be the last words i ever speak to him.
life is too short and too delicate to have this petty bullshit to worry about every single day.

i've always said that if i could sum up our passion for one another, it would have to be with some four letter word, like fuck.
so why has all of what we feel for each other never been enough?

maybe because before march 8th, 2007 we could never get it right.
we deserve for it to be right, right now. we deserve to be happy.

10:42 p.m. - 2007-10-30

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