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help me. please.

here we are, back to communicating through this.
i guess i've never known what unhappiness was, really.
until i'm faced with myself, and only myself.

being alone is unlike anythingi 've ever experienced.
its on some new low that i don't think many people have to go through.
maybe i'm just having a tough time because none of this makes sense to me. i just don't think sacrificing someones happiness is EVER worth any amount of self satisfaction. EVER EVER.

im a fucking zombie.
i have no peace of mind. i have no peace, period.
i don't have anything but my dogs. and my unpleasant self.
i dont want to be in this place right now. in this state of mind. but i can't help it. i continue to dig, dig, dig and i dont know how to turn it around.
and i dont know what to do about it. going home just doesn't seem like an option. BUT at least i would be around people. i just want people.
really, i just want you. but i dont get to have that. and i can't handle it because i don't think its very fair.

11:51 a.m. - 2007-08-12

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