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i've been waiting for this silence all night long.

really, i think i drive by my grandmothers grave every day. but i never have the gut to stop. i hate when it rains on her. and i hate when she is this cold.
i miss her. terribly.

i knew at some point in my life i'd let myself be happy.
i just never thought it would be a time like this.

unofficially or officially, whatever.
i have twelve weeks of college left. i have an internship. i have hope.
finally.
i've learned that 99% of life is about losing. which makes the 1% of winning much more fucking sweet.
i've lost a lot.
but i never lost myself.
i'm giving it all up to you, boy.
and it feels breath taking.
god.

6:11 p.m. - 2007-02-02

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