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masterful

so much for faith in love. and relationships. so much for you meaning all the bullshit that you feed me (including all the things you don't say and i'm just supposed to assume). so much for beauty.

i wish i would get used to the let downs. because they always seem to come in numbers and fall perfectly in place, right behind the next. no half time or time outs. but i've learned that throwing yourself and forgetting how to swim does no good. because someone always comes at the last second, right before you stop breathing and pulls you out.
except that person used to be him. and he's not in arms length anymore.

at least i've learned tons about unspoken love. you know, the kind where you just know and never have to say those stupid words. but when he said them the other night, i got lost in my smile for the first time in months. maybe this whole year.
i've never been so in love.
and that fucking sucks.

10:12 p.m. - 2005-10-05

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