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vernie

on friday, i basically pulled an all nighter. aka....i slept for about 2 hours because i was just in one of those moods. and at 7 i got up and went to work. and last night i got home at 3 and slept until 7. there is something not right about me.
maybe i have a lot on my mind. well, yea, i have a lot on my mind. the thing is, i thought i had it all figured out. everything. and the more i live, the more i realize that i have no fucking clue. about everything. and the more decisions i have to make.
its been 5 days since ive spoken a word to chris. hes been busy, he cant call. everytime he says i love you, his voice changes. its those little things that i notice, its those things that i cant get enough of. its those things that i miss.
everyday i feel a whole world of things. this making it on my own business is not as experiential as i wanted it to be. its more me, trying to act like i know something about anything. im fucked.

9:51 p.m. - 2005-04-10

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