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lover.

this is the longest we've ever been apart.
and thats all i have to say about that.

ive sat many nights in my car, before coming inside, because i could never face the cold facts of going to bed alone. at least i know that when he gets back, i will never have to sleep alone again.
i need change. no matter the cost, what i have to do, i need something new and totally different. ive reached the point in my life where i see the same things, daily. this environment is doing nothing but dragging me down.
im going to try to stay off the computer more, and go out and do stuff. whether that means just driving around. next weekend is devoted to catching up with the girls at amy's apartment. or at least thats the plan as of now. its going to feel good to get me, cassidy, amy, leslie, and sarah back in a room, all together. its been way way way too long.

i can only sit here for so long, until i want to scream. i miss more and more everyday. but, something here, inside of me, tells me that everything is going to be okay. because just like you asked, im smiling, just to let you know that im okay. now, smile for me, so i know that you are too.

10:43 a.m. - 2005-01-17

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