-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

dream of me

sometimes i close my eyes, and never plan on waking up....
tonight, im tired.
and tomorrow, i come get you.

i got a new tattoo...and because of it, i cannot take a bath (because you cant soak it in water for 2 weeks)...i just want to take a hot bath right now.
and i wish it wasnt a fucking mess outside, because i would go to the tanning bed..they want me to go sledding. i dont know if im up for leaving in this winter storm..
but the trees sure are pretty. they sparkle. i miss thinking things are beautiful. but, i guess, i know this is all going to be over with...
saying goodbye a second time is going to be even more painful...i cant see him cry again. i hate hearing those "goodbye" sayings, like i love you so much, and this isnt the end, and im coming back to you....even though they reassure me about everything, they are so hard to sit through. we were both a mess on that friday morning. and i cant say ive really cleaned myself up. there is too much to think about in this situation. and for now, well, forever, we are going to be together...and i like the way that sounds.
i am going to make a new diary, i promise. and then, you can hear about all the fucked up shit in my life, again. on january 2nd, my life is going to be absolutely turned upside down. so then, i will let you know what it will be.
but for now, merry christmas, happy new year.....

7:43 p.m. - 2004-12-22

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------