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im a fake.

im losing it.
i stopped drawing those stupid red hearts. and i finally stopped putting your name in the middle. instead i started drawing circles, making a map of how im going to walk for the next year or so.
its hard to say that ive had a just amount of time. i never get enough time. because i feel like this goodbye is going to take years.
im not afraid to bleed or fight. no, not anymore, because the only thing i could leave with was pride, and maybe a few scratches. nothing that i havent been left with before. please dont make me show you how tough i can be.
im going to carry myself with my own breath. would you be willing to be my next thousand years?
because im cutting myself thinking about all the days you will be broken. dont leave, dont leave me here with a knife.
because you can talk about every other aspect, but you cant talk about me....youve skipped that part all along. and whether you want to deal with it or not, waiting 18 months for some one is a deal, a big huge deal. something that i have never done. it takes more than just a question and a yes to cover the subject.

i cant look without crying. i wish i could take your breath away.

1:03 p.m. - 2004-12-05

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