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its not the months im worried about, its the days.

im not okay.
and this time im really not okay..
i have to get my mind off this.
i have to look on the bright side of things, like maybe this is what you want. but to me, there is nothing even remotely light about this subject.

i thought you promised me that you would never leave. even though you have no control over this. everything good in my life walks away sooner or later.....i was just hoping you would be a little later.
today has been the hardest day, emotionally to get through. because i cant imagine all the things that will happen within a years time. i cant imagine how many nights im going to stay awake just waiting for a kiss. i cant imagine the things he is going to see.
im not strong enough for these types of things.
i thought i told you im not good with goodbyes. i hate hate hate them. i know you know me better than that.
im fucking choking back these tears.
looks like im going to have to start lighting shit on fire.
sooner or later we are all gone.....(in some way or another)

9:37 p.m. - 2004-12-01

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