-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

how do you feel?

i have so many questions. so many stupid accusations. i have so many things that i cant understand or believe.
and like you always told me "dont worry your pretty little head."
i miss those days.

i am always so broken up, everywhere. i always feel so scattered. because my emotions are never here nor there. i never have it, i can never find it. and eventually i get tired of trying.
im the most not powerful person. i collapse, just like the rest of them. i guess i just realized that i am exactly who i dont want to be. and that is terribly disheartening.
i had so much confidence, in the beginning i was sitting on top of pretty. but now, but now im not. i dont even know what i am. i feel second. not for any particular reason. i am second. and im not used to being any less than the best at everything.

basically, what i am trying to say, is that i will keep you warm with a kiss.
all he ever had to do was ask, all he ever had to do was pout out his bottom lip, all he had to do look at me, and i was there. i am still there. i am here. where are you?

all i want to do is scream out. maybe you would umderstand better, then.

8:48 p.m. - 2004-11-29

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------