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my stomach hurts

i have to do this on my own.
i have always relied on everyone else, for everything.
and no one has ever been able to do it for me.
i knew i wasnt going to get what i asked for. i dont know why i had expectations. i dont know why i have hope or faith in anything anymore.
i spelled it out for you, exactly what i wanted.
it always falls short.
i used to think i expected too much.
but if im willing to give it all, i dont see why you arent either.
im hurting.
but this is a different kind of hurt.
this is deep.

and everytime i hear a car come down the street, or everytime i hear the door open, i still jump up. every single time.
i dont know what to do.
i need a break.
this is almost over.
i, am almost over.

5:45 p.m. - 2004-11-14

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