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we belong together.
and i bet that it just kills you.
well, im glad to see that one of us is finally dead.
i think i fell in love with the idea of being in love. i think, really, i fell in love with you because you are my idea of what being in love is. and i find myself wishing, on every single fucking twinkling star, that you are here and that i am there and that we are something, together. wow. it honestly makes me speechless.
and even if we arent saying a word, i can still hear it. and even if we were never allowed to touch again, i promise that i would still feel it.
its really unbelieveable how things change. just last night i was saying a big "fuck you" to the past for screwing my mind up. for making beautiful things seem a little less beautiful. god, oh dear god, as soon as i see him though, i forget that i was ever or had ever hurt before.
and to me, its like there has to be some logic to all this. there has to be some math problem that explains why this is so fucking systematically correct. i guess my thesis would have to be this: when you add 2 odd numbers together, you get an even. and for the first time in my life, i like that conclusion. it makes me smile.
no matter how bad it looks on the outside, there is always a smile somewhere hidden in there. and by god, if it makes you happy, i will tattoo a smile right across my fucking face. because i mean it, and it would be worth it.
i used to be scared that if i wasnt sad anymore i wouldnt be able to write good. lesson learned sufficently....happy things are just as fun to write about. because, in case you didnt notice, im not crying, for the first time, now while im pouring my heart out.
yea, sure, tonight could make a difference in my mood. but that doesnt mean a damn to me. because i dont care how sad i am as long as i wake up next to you. and as long as im the last thign you think about before you sleep and the first thing you think about when you wake. because i want to rub the crusties out of your eyes. i want that to be my permanent job.
i cant wait to see you. i cant wait to see where this leads.
9:36 p.m. - 2004-11-10
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