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its not always rainbows and butterflies

how do i know anything?
im in one of those moods. the ones where i have to say "whatever" to save me some sanity. today has been lazy. i didnt leave my house until soccer. and then i get to soccer, and i dont practice good. i dont think i laughed once at practice. i didnt talk, to anyone. i just sat there, i just kept my mouth shut. for no particular reason either. im not in the mood. im not in the mood to be anything right now. which should make for an interesting night. i think everyone is leaving the house tonight...so that means i have it all to myself. (cross my fingers). no distractions. no children. no mom. no boyfriend. just me. i just need me. i havent been me in a long time.
and no hair cut or hair color, no new clothes or shoes, nothing like that is going to make me a better person. and im laughing at myself right now for thinking it would.
i need to move out of my house. im thinking that since amy and sarah are moving out, maybe i can get a job very soon, and move out with them.
i just need to get away from here.
i think i might go down to the waterfront, and walk.
im in one of those deep moods now. im needing to have a great conversation with someone.
yea, im definitely going to go down to the park.

5:29 p.m. - 2004-10-07

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