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this is when i push you away.

im crying and i dont even know why.
i just feel so let down. i really, honestly care so much about other people that i forget that i even exist sometimes. i get caught up in the fact that i cherish these friendships and how much they mean. and its really discouraging to me that i get treated the way i do. maybe im taking it too personal. but i am really hurting today. i wish it was as easy as forgetting. i wish i could just erase it. but there isnt enough in this world to make me pass this over.
i need to get out. alone. i need to be alone. some where else but here. this place smells like everyone that i dont want to be thinking about right now.
sometimes i feel like death.

1:21 p.m. - 2004-10-02

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