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this little light of mine, im going to let it shine...
i read other peoples problems and it brings me back to everything that i am/was feeling. life is too fucking good right now. everything is falling into place, and shit is going exactly how i need it to go for me. and thats just too fucking weird. this is veronica's life we are talking about. its just one problem after another with me. i never find good in any situation just because bad has always been around the corner. family shit has been good, school is school, me and chris are doing great, and soccer isnt going good as a team..but for me individually..its exceptionally well. i cant find a damn thing wrong. and im scared that all this good is building up into a bomb, that will go off as soon as i climax. im scared that im being so oblivous to all life that is spinning around me because im so content in this little spot that im sitting in right now. im scared that shit is going down, just without me knowing about it. its not even like i dont trust anyone in my life, its not that kind of feeling, its the kind of feeling like maybe life is going to blow up and i will finally have a reason to throw in the towel and say "im done." i dont know.....its crazy. its so crazy that i can just drive home and sing at the top of my lungs and not give a shit who is sitting next to me listening. its amazing that even though im having a "bad hair day" i still manage to squeeze out a smile. its actually an uneasy feeling to be happy. i shouldnt complain. i cant complain...at all. and this is not what this entry is about. its not whining, its simply praise to who ever is looking out for me up top, because they are doing a fabulous job. and if these are my fifteen mintues to shine, well you better fucking believe that im going to fucking shine!
i should be studying, some more.
10:07 p.m. - 2004-09-15
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