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im so in love with what we were

hmm...lets see. i have had an exceptionally swell day. hung out with people at school since ive been in and out of class all day. went and actually ate some lunch by myself. left my second class about 40 minutes early. chris wrote me a text message. everything is going good. and we only have about an hour long practice tonight. we are having a cook out to start our season since our first game is tomorrow.

so, there is this guy kevin at school that calls me about studying with him. and chris doesnt understand that it really is just studying. so, since kevin will be at my game on saturday, chris said he isnt coming. all of my boyfriends have always been so fucking supportive of me. they all traveled good distances just to watch me play and cheer for me. i think when he told me he wasnt coming because he didnt want to deal with it, it really fucking hurt. it means so much to have people i care about show me they care by coming to watch me play soccer. i dont care who is going to be there, because you arent there for them, you are there for me, you are there to show me that you respect/ support me. yea, i know that i havent been very supportive of you, but i told you that i was going to work on it as soon as you give me the next chance. i dont know. ive been thinking about this all day. it really bugs me. maybe im over analyzing things, but when a person tells you they wont come watch you play soccer for a reason that is absolutely fucking ridiculous, well....i really dont think im over thinking this at all. i guess ill just have to pray that he realizes.

today has been good. im hoping that tonight will be too. i hope i see chris. that would make today a million times better. ill just keep my fingers crossed.

1:33 p.m. - 2004-09-02

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