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i couldnt sleep.

dear chris,

ive been a terrible girlfriend. i havent trusted you. i havent given/let you do what you want. i havent supported you. i havent opened up and shown you whoi really am. i havent done anything worth you staying around. and i guess this may be some hopeless attempt at giving you a reason to stick around. ive done some self cleansing, and i let go of everything i have ever held on to. im sick of being scared, of pushing you away, and most importantly, im sick of fighting. and whether you think this is sincere of not, well, thats something for you to trust me on. and thats just something you will have to decide on your own. but right now, i cant help but feel that my heart beats for you. and there is no one i would rather wake up an hour early for. and there is no one i would rather touch. and there is no one i would rather laugh with. no one i would ever rather be with. so, please, believe me in saying that im trying to see what a bitch ive been. and now that you are back here with me, there is nothing i am going to do to throw you back away. i pinky swear. i love you. with everything i have.

always,

veronica

7:49 a.m. - 2004-08-30

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