-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

would you listen please?

so i thought that it was over, that feeling like the world was going to end actually ended. but im suddenly sitting here, worried about all the wrong things that can be quickly solved by simple phone call. but of course, im going to have to choke out some confidence to help me get the words out right. im in love, thats all there is. period. and love is what my whole basis for existence is. obsession and addiction feed me a daily meal just so that i can wake up every morning and breathe. but thats just it, without you, i dont want to breathe. i want to just shake myself so hard that all the words that i dont know how to say, all the words that i left unspoken, would fall right to the ground. and you could roll around in them. chop them up and snort them. i guess do whatever it takes for them to go to your brain, fast. because ive fallen so many times that ive run out of room to land. and i need you to understand, as soon as possible. because this fake smile, well, next time it rains, it will surely smear and run down my face. painted on faces cant last forever. im in no mood to bleed, but it looks like i have no choice. i fell and scraped up my knees. and now, my hands are together, locked tight, praying for you and me.

one more day. one more fucking day until i get to hold you in my arms. but whats worse than waiting this long??? well, the fact that i have to let you go and i have to watch you walk away for a few more days.

6:15 p.m. - 2004-08-22

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------