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when my world caves in

god, i need some one to talk to...

but without chris here, i dont know who to trust.

we talked last night, only for about 10 minutes. and it just makes me sad. i almost wish that we didnt have the luxury of speaking because it makes this so much worse. i just keep thinking that hes just going to show up. my heart beats all fast everytime i hear a loud car drive past my house. and i dont know why because i know its not him. i guess i just want him here so bad that i just pretend that he is or that he will be soon.. 12 days. only 12 days. i havent cried really, until right now. i just want to go back to sleep and wake up and it be aug 28th. i want school to start so i have something to do and so i will be surrounded in people. wow...chris means a lot to me i guess. i have it bad for this boy. real bad.

and im not going to sweat the small stuff. yea, i could easily go kick every girls ass that says shit. but im no longer in high school, i havent been for over a year now, and fighting about boys and having drama with people that dont even matter in the least bit to me seems so immature. so i have decided to let it slide.

i really just want someone to talk to.... im crying.

8:37 a.m. - 2004-08-16

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