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friday the 13th = chris and veronica day

so, i saw him for the last time for 14 full days. ok. im ridiculous. i know, i know, 14 days doesnt seem long. and i keep saying "VERONICA FUCKING SUCK IT UP. YOUR BEING PATHETIC." and i keep imaging what it would be like if he was to go some where for a year. and how bad it would hurt. i just cant imagine being a world away from him. im reassuring myself, saying things like "we'll be looking at the same sky." and stupid shit like that. but as soon as i shut my car door to leave his house, they came. the tears i mean. they came hard. i just need to sleep. but every time i close my eyes, i imagine what being so fucking lonely for the next 14 days is going to be like. and i wish he seemed more upset. i wish he would show an ounce of emotion here. maybe im showing enough for the both of us? when i came home tonight, i just wanted to check my mail and there be this long ass emotional email from him. but of course not. chris told me to sleep for the next 14 days and when i wake up, it would be like he was never gone. if only.....right? god, im pathetic. god, please help me. im in need of sleep, i have a big day ahead of me.

11:25 p.m. - 2004-08-13

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