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i hate you

i feel like i just got hit by a train. no physically, but emotionally. i feel like ive just been broken up with. i didnt want to wake up. and now, im crying. already. and its only 9. i given up hope. ive given everything up. and i dont have anything to show for it. besides these fucking tears. i never thought you could break an already broken heart. i just didnt think that it was possible. i feel sick. i stayed up way too late and woke up way too early. im not going to eat. im just going to lay around. and think. and cry. and wonder what the hell i am supposed to do now. when are things going to be about me?? when are my best interests and my thoughts and opinions and actions going to matter? i feel like shit. like i absolutely mean nothing to anyone. i want to hide under a rock. i want to hide my face, and my heart, because they are both way to sad to even look at. i hate everything about this moment. i hate everything about last night and i guess all of yesterday. i hate this situation. i feel so uncomfortable. i honestly, dont want to talk, i just want to cry, alone.

8:59 a.m. - 2004-08-03

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