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talking to myself, as always.

no matter how many times he says no, i know that i am taking chris away from his friends. and i feel terrible. because i know that they tell him all this fun stuff that they do, and how bad they wish he was there. and deep inside i know that he wishes he was there too. but he feels obligated to be with me, maybe not obligated, but i always just get upset when he doesnt hang out with me. i know that i get mad. and i feel so stupid for it afterwards. from here on, its different. im going to change, because i know that he wants it, without saying it.

im not going to take this love for granted. im really going to just float on this feeling. i swear, i wish some one could walk a day in my shoes. i wish some one could really feel how good he makes me feel. i wish everyone could know. this is love. it was fake before. its real this time. and i just want to live forever in this one second of time. i wish i was with him right now.

11:13 p.m. - 2004-07-04

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