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a word to the wise...dont fucking cross me because you will get burned.

im fucking fighting, no matter how bruised and bloody i am at the end. no matter if i have to kill. he is not welcome here and he cannot just come and go as he pleases. some one, anyone, tell him to go away. tell him to dissapear. if i could fly, i am telling you that i would leave this town for good. i would go to a place where no one knew my face or name. where everyone was friendly. there was no love lost, no frowns. if there was ever a time where i needed chris, this would be it. last night was the breaking point because it just finally proved to my heart and mind that i want chris in my life, no other boys. why cant the past just leave us both alone? why cant they both just dissapear because we want them gone, both of them. well, at least i do, and i think chris will agree. i mean, wouldnt a "get the fuck away from me" normally give you the picture that i want you to get the fuck away from me????? this situation blows.

im at school. i need to drop my class but i cant get a hold of my advisor. suprise! she is never ever here at school. and i dont know who is teaching my class that i want to drop. fuck. i have to pick chris up at the car place after class. i have a game in lexington tonight. and my first speech due on thursday. man, here comes fucking stress. why cant my school be out like normal colleges. im so burned out from all this fucking learning. my little brain cant hold anymore information.

and today, i feel like a rain drop. i mean, i feel like i going to splatter on the concrete. and then everyone is just going to walk all over me.

9:12 a.m. - 2004-05-11

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