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for the past 12 hours....

im writing in this white box full of words because i think it makes me feel better. its hard to be addicted to feelings and say no when they come knocking on your door. its hard not to consume you whole because you have this overwhelming effect on me. i will bruise and beat myself, i will bleed and choke on these words because they arent ready to be said. even though i want you to know, bad. but how come they are echoing inside and not just slipping through the cracks in my teeth. they sound so right in my head, but what if i speak them and they manage to hit you everywhere except your heart? what if they bruise you, i would feel guilty then. im just going to draw circles and walk around them, im just going to walk in circles until one of us shuts off the red lights. this is a beautiful thing, you are a beautiful thing. can i be beautiful with you?

7:47 a.m. - 2004-04-14

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