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your all that and a bag of chips.
we talked in philosophy about greatness, and how god is the one great being, and there are no other ones greater than him. my professor said that many philosophers believe in one "greatness". i dont know why, but this came to my mind last night before i went to bed. and i was wondering if he believes in one great love or one great beauty. and this one great love will never be able to be compared because it was so great. and this one being is so beautfiul that you will never match what it is that makes them beautiful. and i was wondering if that being is god, and god is supposed to be our great love, and our great beauty. but what if he wasnt our great love, and our great love and great beauty is supposed to be found in a human being. what if your scared that you used up this one great love already? what if you really hope you didnt waste it?
me and chris stayed up last night, telling each other things. he probably got sick of me talking, but i just feel like there are so many things i want to say, its been so long since ive had a really fucking good conversation with someone, and last night was the start of a really good fucking conversation, and i hope that he agrees with me...but i have to admit that im a sucker for conversation, i love spilling the beans to people. im just scared that im going to tell him too much, and hes not going to respond well. but i find it very very attractive when you can conversate with people on a certain level, and i feel like i can tell him everything. which is excellent. and im scared that things will move too fast. and i guess thats why i was hesitant when it started getting hot and heavy last night. i guess i just havent been intimate with anyone but william for a long time, and yea, im not saying that i wasnt excited and that i didnt want it to happen, and im happy about what did happen, im just hesitant. i like him so much, and i dont want this to end anytime soon. i know im going to mess things up, but im praying that i dont.
10:42 a.m. - 2004-03-16
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